Foot it featly

By Gordon Hawkins

"Foot it featly here and there," wrote Shakespeare. One of the instructive pleasures of James Bay is that of observing the varied and ingenious aids to better walking that are in vogue in the community. Canes, walkers, rollators, walking poles, crutches, cane walker hybrids, knew walkers. The range is impressive, and the skill and ingenuity and even the etiquette in their use are fascinating.

For decades, the idea of carrying a cane has appealed to me, not because I needed one but because I hoped it might raise my morale. I thought that a brass-topped Malacca cane, for example, with accompanying headgear, might provide me with poise, gravitas, which I seemed to lack. Pure vanity, really.

I never got around to it because there were too many decisions to be made. Wood or metal? If wood, what kind; ash, willow, maple? Whangee bamboo, perhaps (a la Charlie Chaplin)? The selection seemed unending. Crook, or handle or knob? Ferrule or no ferrule? With a strap perhaps? Why not something wild: a shellaly or a kebbie? Or maybe the stick with a cavity in which to keep and hide a vial of life-saving liquor. The abundance of choice led to stasis, total indecision.

Now finally, in my nineties the problem has been solved, courtesy of Japanese technology: a walking stick with "sat nav." It has GPS, 3G and wifi lodged in the head of the cane so that you can tell if the objective of your walk and it will set you on your way with the relaxed certainty that you will reach your destination. If you take a wrong turn, the stick vibrates and a lighted arrow indicates your route. And that's only the beginning. It monitors your heartbeat and sends the data back to the computer of your partner or caregiver or whoever.

It will be on sale in June but I may wait until it pops up on "Used Victoria."