Thoughts on Happy Endings

By Gordon Hawkins

A short time ago, a young friend who thought that getting old was the worst prospect he could ever imagine, asked me why so many of us have all the signs of bodily and mental deterioration and yet insist on looking determinedly on the bright side of things. I suppose you could call it The Life of Brian syndrome. I don't know what percentage of us are like this, but one explanation has to be that, with time running out, they/we are fairly intent on making the most of things in the present in the almost certain knowledge that a steeper decline lies ahead.

Or maybe it is just that our diminishing supply of cognitive resources makes it difficult and uncomfortable for us to recognize how stressful life is becoming, and we happily lapse into behaviours in which thoughts of daily distress are muted. Looking at it more positively, it might be that, towards the end of a long life, we have developed the capacity to control our emotions and avoid situations that would have torn us apart years ago.

Few of us can be sure of the real answer. When I look at a friend close to my age and have the nerve to say that he (or she) is going downhill, or losing it or some other invidious euphemism, on what am I basing my opinion? Gerontologists tell us, a little portentously, that I am basing it on changes I observe in his mental acuity, his general attitude and his social comportment.

All this may be true, but, for a truer assessment I would need to know how he recollects his past friendships and enmities, what he values and regrets in all his family connections and other aspects of his private life that are and should be privy to him alone. The only one sad, totally dispassionate, and unbiased finding I never fail to reach is that, whoever he is, the poor chap is losing it faster than I am!