Dec
3
By Pene Beavan Horton
I've just used a marvelous software program that cleans up computer problems. You click the button that says 'Scan for issues,' then the program checks every file on your hard drive, and when the purring stops, tells you how many problems' it's found. Then it asks, "Repair problems?" Of course you click "Yes," and in seconds, all the problems are solved and you can start fresh.
Would that we humans were programmed like this! How great to wake up in the morning full of yesterday's problems and click a button that says, 'Scan for issues.' You have lots of issues. You're depressed. Worried. Upset. You've eaten too much. You can't stand your boss. Your children are annoying you because you can't control them any more. You don't know how you'll get through another day. You have heartburn.
So press "Repair problems." Lie there while your internal programming purrs through your entire system. In minutes, all your problems are solved. You can get out of bed and start your day with a clear conscience and a sunny disposition.
Who knows that by 2050 or sooner, we won't have this built-in capability? Maybe a super microchip inserted into our brain will be programmed to do the job for us. Since we are composed of a mass of intelligent interacting cells, this is not as far-fetched as it may sound.
Our super chip will find out what's wrong with us and fix it, or tell us how to fix it ourselves. "You need nutritional yeast... buy some Evening Primrose Oil... get new glasses..."
Does this mean we'll become a bunch of super robots? I love the thought that we'll probably have replaceable stainless steel parts that just click in and click out when we're through with them. Need a new liver? Check the catalogue... how about a new stainless steel do-it-yourself knee or hip joint?
What about a new heart? Will our super chip be able to induce correct emotions in a stainless steel heart? If a computer takes only seconds to tell us we've made a spelling mistake and how to correct it, why wouldn't it tell us what emotions are appropriate for every circumstance? Cry a little...not too much... that's right... now stop...
Our super chips will enable us to understand and speak any language, as well as compose music, learn advanced mathematics or science or any other skill we may wish to acquire.
We'll have instant access to the Internet, and be able to go online simply by thinking the thought.
All this is suddenly extremely depressing, and alas, I don't yet have a 'Repair Problem' button to push to fix it!