Gleanings

On Entertaining: Naval and Otherwise

By Shirley O'Kealey

*The 100 year anniversary celebration of our Canadian Navy, make that our Royal Canadian Navy, was on May 4^th. It was an impressive parade with 3000 marchers all identically clad in their dark navy, impeccable uniforms. They ranged in age and all looked in good spirits, happy, healthy, useful and proud to be of service. We, in turn, were proud of them. I know very little of the navy, having been born in a landlocked province and later railroaded to Vancouver by our mother, where we didn't range far from home. I didn't even know where our docks were 'til I was 20. No-one in our family has been in the Navy. It was heartwarming to see the families together, three or four generations smiling. Afterwards, FIVE marimbas played a lively, catchy tune, and little ones danced to it in Centennial Square. The Rotary Club had set up a free hotdog stand. I didn't bite as I'd just had a Chinese Combination Dinner and had shared the restaurant with a dozen of those in their spiffy outfits. They were very careful to remove their hats immediately on entering. (Many were simply rushing in to use the washroom as they'd gathered around 8 a.m. and it was now 1 p.m.) I have a suggestion if the parade convener is listening. Everything and everybody were as neat as a pin but some variety is needed. Take a tip from China and get some flags waving and banners, too. Maybe roll out some of those cannons from the past and hand out toy telescopes or spyglasses. Rum would be nice, but I know that just wouldn't do. How about a cart with a real, really big anchor or carrying a large bottle with a ship inside. Wow! Show us some HISTORY of the navy with uniforms from the past 100 years. I espied only one middy (from the term, midshipman), and it was the cutest little terrycloth outfit on a three-year-old boy. What's wrong with the cooks being represented wearing their tall chefs' hats and white aprons? I could see that the parade was meant to recognize the serious business of our naval forces. I guess a clown in the image of Popeye the Sailor Man wouldn't even be considered. He'd be noticed, though, and what's not to be appreciated about our hero, Popeye? That little three-year-old would jump to attention and might remember and even join the navy when he grew up.

*A 1932 Picasso painting, a nude, sold for the highest price ever at 106 million. I wouldn't have one of his paintings in my home at any price. They do catch the eye, however, with body parts juxtaposed in unusual locations. They are hypnotic and I stare at them thinking, "Well, if one eye is there and the nose is over here, what is that elbow doing? Has she been murdered by a madman with a hatchet? No, she's his mate and she didn't die in such a manner. What is he expressing? Anger? Confusion? Admiration? Or is he just messing around with colour and form?" I wish I had his wizardry.

*Tasers and Toyotas are perfectly safe?

*Crows are quite the thinking creatures. They gathered to attack a kite using that old survival instinct: if you don't recognize it, kill it!

*Ants are definitely heroic in the way they trundle huge loads, looking much like a hunter shouldering the deer he's bagged. The entire insect world is remarkable, although we've been taught to view it with revulsion. They have adapted to life on this planet far better than humans.

*My sister remembers what I looked like the day I was born! How many seniors can say that? I was born in a house. My sister was six years old. She ran to school and announced to everyone that she had a baby sister! I've been her pet ever since, and she's been my wonderful, big sister.

*"Have a good day" has morphed into "Have a GREAT DAY" by our enthusiastic salespeople. Is it working? Are you having many great days?

*Back to the Bushtits: Now that I have binoculars, I see I was in error regarding the entrance to their little home. It is more like a postal slot than a loonie. There was a fierce wind last night. One of their supporting twigs broke off and with it tufts of the nest. They took it in stride. Business as usual this morning. Two crows are nesting in the neighbour's tree, coming over to ours and breaking off small branches that they carry home. One of them stood right atop the bushtits' nest and was about to dismantle it when I rushed out to shoo it away. Crows would enjoy those eggs. The bushtit call is a high, sharp cheep, repeated as often as necessary, and they have "attitude" as do many tiny creatures.

*ON FUNERALS: I attended one last month, found a friend, Shirley M., and we had a lively discussion on how we would arrange our own funeral. She insisted on a magician. I said there must be alcohol, preferably something bubbly. We agreed that it should be lively with music and entertainment. I will begin to collect funereal jokes. Talking with another friend, Mary C, I said my favourite part was when people went to the mike and recalled special anecdotes. She disagreed, saying that sort of thing went on forever, that you couldn't shut them up because one memory triggered another and it was often too sad. We decided that 20 minutes was enough for any one thing, be it the service, a video, family sharings, music - the music should be live. (Call my kids if you want classical guitar or harp.) We also thought that the funeral was lovelier in a beautiful church rather than in a community or senior centre. I like flowers, too, so don't be afraid to send some. Florists have rent to pay, don't they?

*What are we going to do when the boomers are in their 80s and 90s, and we can't afford the health care for knee, hip replacements and heart operations? As David Suzuki said, Earth is the bus and our bus is full.

*I attended a volunteer appreciation buffet and sat next to Elsie Farr. Yes, Elsie is a household name. She was awarded two pins for 30 years' service. One pin was for the 25 years and the other for five, as they did not have a 30 year pin, it being so rarely required. I asked her if she had a grandchild that she could give the #5 pin to and she brightened right up saying, "Yes, she did!" At the end of the meal, Elsie and I, as if on cue, both reached into our purses and brought out plastic bags. I even had a twist-tie, and we wrapped up the huge breasts of chicken we'd been unable to finish. I remembered in Spain doing the same thing with my sister who so very furtively placed the bag (not her purse) out of sight between the table leg and the wall after packing away some yogurt and a bun. Perhaps there was some sliced beef, also. Our tour provided breakfast and dinner, but not lunch. Left on the plate, they would have been thrown away. We got up to get our coffee and on our return, we saw her bag had been stolen!! Someone who had been watching, must have believed, because of the care she took hiding the bag, that it contained something of value. She said it was the well dressed, middle-aged man seated behind a pillar who disappeared at the same time, and as we were early for breakfast not many were there. She gave his full description to the hotel manager.