Gleanings

By Shirley O'Kealey

I have recently heard anger expressed by the younger generations towards seniors. The young are envious of the "big houses" and comfortable financial status enjoyed by us. I can reply to this in three words: We earned them. We old things were born mostly in the 20's, 30's and 40's. Many went through the Second World War and came back damaged in body and mind, untrained for employment. If you did not go to battle but stayed home while fathers, brothers, uncles left, then you lived a very frugal life. We were on "rations." Mom was allowed to buy only a small amount of sugar and meat each month for the family. If a person was late for supper he had slim pickings. Eggs were unavailable. We did not have two or three bathrooms or even one. Heat was provided by a single potbellied stove in the middle of the living room and of course, the kitchen cook stove. We used large glass bottles filled with hot water to warm our beds. We did not take daily showers. Water was heated in kettles on the stove. We did not eat food from all over the world all year long. I did not know what an olive or a mushroom was until I was 20. We shared beds because families were large and homes were small. We made our own wine from the berries we picked. We did well to receive ONE gift at Christmas. (It was usually socks.) We wore "hand me downs" or homemade clothes. Very little was purchased. Bedding was quilts made from scrap clothing. Clothing was repaired. Everything was repaired by family or friend making us very capable and independent. There was just one light in a room, usually in the middle of the ceiling. Mothers "put food down" by canning or drying it. There was a locker in the town where fish and meat could be stored but that cost money. We kept a cow and chickens for our protein supply. (soy products were unknown to us.) Most families had a large vegetable garden. Everyone in the family had "chores" or daily work to do. Few families owned an automobile. We did not take "vacations." A community picnic at Bear Creek was our summer outing. We were lucky to get any high school education. Dad had grade 11 (so he said) and that was considered superior. Boys were taken out of school to help with farm work and never went back. More girls graduated but married after a year or two as a clerk or nanny. Then they were locked into marriage and rearing children until "THE PILL" arrived and gave them some freedom of choice. Everyone that I knew worked their way through university. Some, like Frank Iacobucci, even had a job during high school. I also paid my own way with work as a park attendant in the summers and sorting mail in the post office through the Christmas season. I held down a job all through my marriage, taking a month off when each child was born. I had to work as my husband had a difficult time finding something that would pay the bills. And it wasn't easy for me. Employers were demanding; excuses about home and kids were unthinkable. If your child became ill, one parent had to lie and pretend they were the sick one in order to stay home. I faced harsh discrimination from women as well as men. It was not acceptable to be a working mother, that is, one who worked outside the home. My day began at 6 am, with getting the kids ready for school. One of us dressed them while the other parent made the breakfast. We dropped one off with a lovely woman who stayed home because she had several little ones, and then we drove the other child to school. I put in a long stress-filled day, got a lift or took a bus home, shopped on the way, helped get supper ready, did the dishes (no such thing as a dishwasher) while hubby read the kids a bedtime story; we made lunches for the next day. Last of all, I SCRUBBED THE FLOOR and finally got into bed before ten pm. On Friday evenings we took our clothing to a laundromat; this included a large bag of diapers, and while it washed, we did our weekly grocery shopping. We had no washer or drier obviously, but we did have a car. I was single for three years and then I shared apartments with girlfriends. When married, we lived first in an upstairs suite, then a better upstairs suite where the landlady could care for our little girl, then a basement suite before we spotted a tiny old house that we thought we could afford to make a downpayment on. Later we moved to the country where my husband set up his business while I continued working. All in all, I was employed for forty years although not always full time. Sounds like a long haul, doesn't it? Quite likely the young bunch now will also be comfortable forty years from now - if they play their cards right and don't stop working.