This Is Not Good

Chasing Rainbows

By Sarah Playle

http://www.abirdflyingnorth.blogspot.com

This is it? This question pops into my head as I finish updating the professional studio page on my website. This is it? You would think, after so much time out of work and with nothing to do but draw that I would have a good 20, 30, may I be so bold as to say 40, pieces of artwork done. I don't even do artwork in large sizes. The largest size I have ever done is 14 x 17. And this is it? Six images I like enough to be listed?

This is not good.

I have just emailed an art gallery about representation....how can I get represented if I have nothing to represent? What on earth have I been doing with my time? Obviously not drawing, or at least not drawing nearly enough. I mentally check back the last six months to figure what I have done  that apparently did not  include the artwork I was supposed to be doing....Oh, right, I remember. I was writing; in papers, on blogs, in art e-zines, to promote my artwork....that I don't have....

This is not good.

It's Wednesday night. The art gallery will be open tomorrow and will get my email. I quickly scan in my memory what I wrote. Right, I said that my site showed *some* of my artwork. If they ask to actually see my artwork it would make sense for them to expect me to take a couple of days to get it together, right? And in a couple of days I can do a good 20 more prints....right?

Okay, this is really not good.

Okay, no more 'pretending' to be an artist, I decide, now it's time to get down to the real nitty gritty work  of it. The thing is, I actually *have* worked....since all of two weeks ago anyway. Was it my fault that it wasn't until two weeks ago that I discovered the medium of ink and pastel...and this was what finally allowed me to find my true artistic muse? I try to comfort myself with that thought that I have only been doing this full time for six months, and I did just kind of throw myself into the deep end with the bold attitude of, No job? Okay, I'll be an artist. Not to mention that there is also the two paintings and drawing I was going to give to the artist friend...and the funny dog drawing that I didn't list. So I have worked...right?

Maybe the gallery won't even bother to email me back. Maybe they won't care a bit about my artwork. I unfortunately have a suspicion they will. The artwork I have listed is my best work...even if it is only six images. I can see them asking to see my full portfolio, and going in with....six images.

This is really, really not good.

Okay, enough playing art, enough telling people when they ask what I do that I am a "self-employed artist" when apparently what I really am is just unemployed with six pieces of good  art. Hey, I'm fast. I even have two more pieces almost done...okay, only one of them reaches my standards of 'sellable' but that's beside the point. The point is, I am quick, I'm determined, I can get a good portfolio together in a few days.

I can....right?