A New Beginning

By Giselle Loeper

Well, what can I say, how should I start?

My husband died on September 15^th, 2009, I nursed him for ten years, through a triple by-pass surgery, followed by a new diet, then stomach cancer surgery and chemotherapy, with most of his stomach gone. Radiation, the whole nine yards. Nobody, not even my children, had a clue how I felt. Then there was the hip replacement; nobody seemed to care that he was already full of cancer. In August we got the truth after a series of tests: "Go home to die." The doctor in charge rudely hung up on me.

So here I was, a prisoner in my own home, with the children, cancer people, nurses, rudely shoved aside. Well, a merciful night nurse put an end to it. To be honest, I was a very tired, disgusted caregiver. We had a bitter fight, the kids and I, except my youngest son from Victoria. He helped me survive the whole misery. After the cremation I cracked. I agreed to grief counselling. This very capable person gave me back my self-worth. made me see that Giselle still had enough time to build a life for myself.

But I was still resentful. A daily struggle with the will, the bank, etc.

In April the kids committed their father's ashes to the sea in Victoria. I didn't go. Well, the kids had their reunion, and patched things up. I did my own thing. I grew up. I became G. Loeper, Not Mrs or Ms, just Giselle.

Then my son Chuck, from BC, suggested I pull up stakes, sell the house in Windsor, and move to Victoria. He rented an apartment for me at Olympia and Dallas Road, across the street from the ocean; I was able to sell my house in one day (I should be in real estate!), as I had spent all winter and spring cleaning out my house. Bob had been a hoarder, so the first two weeks were hell.

At first, in my new place, I felt alienated. But I started listening to the ocean, watching the activities - ships, pilot boats, the HMCS Calgary patrolling. My son is a proud member of the Canadian Armed Forces - Navy, on course, in Victoria. The Olympic Mountains often look like a mirage on a foggy day. Often, I see fourteen shades of blue the ocean shows me. The noisy crows, gulls, a young falcon on "my" bench, calmly looking at me. A stately whale passing by. A motionless heron contemplating life, or perhaps dinner? And last week a young sea otter was sitting on driftwood, washing itself - a first for me. People smile at me, patiently explaining things and answering my questions. The people in my building are very nice. I made a new friend who brings me excellent coffee. Those coffee houses with pastries to die for! So you see, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I'm one of you Victorians now; I have my BC Health Card. I have almost arrived. When I go downtown, I stand in awe before the statue of Queen Victoria and my favourite, Captain Cook. My two sons were sea cadets and spent their summers in Comox, so we were in BC several times.

Now I'm 79 years old. A new beginning. Finally getting to know my wonderful grandson. I am indeed blessed.

But I'll always remember my wonderful friends in Windsor, Ontario. And my neighbours. They were with me to help me with their love and caring.