Nov
29
Local Street Walker
By Shirley O'
Does anybody want to know or know what to do with one lone sock that has a hole in the toe? I already have one that I use to cover the bodum of coffee to keep the coffee warm and another that I use for dusting. I rarely dust. Let's make a list of things to do with a sock:
Make a sock puppet.
Donate it to the Salvation Army as a glove for a poor little kid. Try to find another even if it doesn't match.
Give it to a kid next spring to keep his marbles in.
If it is long enough, use it around a sore throat.
Hang it on the Christmas tree.
Hang it on a bush outside with a small apple inside for the birds. Make more holes first.
Use it as a kind of piggy bank that robbers will never think to search. Do not put it under your mattress. We tried that in Mexico.
Fill it with small coins and give it away as a birthday gift.
Get four and use them on your dog's dirty feet.
Put it around a drippy tap.
Put someone's name on it and hang it by the fire (with a Japanese orange and some rock candy inside).
Cover a brush with it and try to think of something.
I give up.
How beautiful it is to do nothing, then to rest afterward. Spanish proverb.
You don't marry someone you can live with; you marry someone you can't live without.
Anyone can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Give a man a fish and he will eat all day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Hugs to be most beneficial must last at least 30 seconds.
"Have a good day!" We hear it often. I like the Australian, "G'day, mate!"
On Dentists: Years ago in Queen Charlotte City, the dentist smashed all the shelves of candy because the kids had such rotten teeth. Recently, in Vancouver, a dentist offered kids one dollar if they would give up one pound of candy to him. Can't blame a guy for trying. The scariest thing about Hallowe'en is --- more cavities.
Do you give out candy on Hallowe'en night? I give pencils, but I heard an even better idea from a little girl being interviewed. She said, "Toothbrushes!"
Hallowe'en is misrepresented with acts of violence and evil. In Mexico it is honoured and respected as "The Night of the Dead." Friends and family bring gifts to the graveside where the bones of their loved ones lie.
On Kids: Mine are in their forties. HE walked off with HER whole box of Honey-Nut Cheerios and she was incensed. She left him a message on his answering machine, not caring who heard it. I went out and replaced it with 2 big Cheerio boxes. Her mood improved when she saw them and immediately took up a felt pen and wrote her initials on BOTH!
The coffee is so weak in my sister's care home that we can't tell if it is coffee or tea.
I ordered lunch in a local Chinese restaurant. When my order came, the plate was covered with gravy on all sides, even underneath. When I asked the waitress to have it cleaned, she reached under the counter and gave me two more serviettes.
Sprinkle cocoa or cinnamon on your cereal. It is really good for you.
On Christmas Gifting: My friend suggested no more wrapping of gifts - just toss everything into a pillowcase, label it and tie it up. - one pillowcase for each person. But the family would not go along with this. One year I gave donations to the charity of my choice in lieu of gifts to my family and each received a very nice card notifying them about it. They were not impressed.
Did you know that a turn-on for women is men helping them with the HOUSEWORK?
Did you know that wearing high heels actually makes a woman FEEL as well as LOOK sexy?
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. (?)
A French word for today: TROMBONE means paperclip.
The difference between a monk and a friar is the monk stays inside the monastery while the friar goes out into the world.
Spiders Are Tough. My friend poured wine from a container into a bottle and some time, maybe 20 minutes later, noticed a spider in the bottom of that bottle. He straightaway poured out the wine and the spider raced off. Gee, 20 minutes underwine!
Don't you feel good when you give someone a compliment? That makes two that do.
"In my mind I am free." Stephen Hawking, physicist. He was smiling when he said this.
A Study in F: I opened the fridge door and a flea flew out from our freezer. I'm sure it was a happy and relieved flea, to no longer suffer a life so frigid and forgotten. Fare thee well, little flea now that you are free.
Pity composer Tschaikovsky. When his Serenade Melancholy for the violin was first performed a reviewer wrote, "Music whose stink one can hear."
"Too many voices and nothing is heard." Lawyer C. Ruby
They say time goes but no, time stays. WE go.