Gnome's Moan

I am a weathered garden gnome

and I've been here for years

The paint's come off me pointed hat -

the wind's chipped both me ears.

I'm sitting on a Toadstool

and I look a bit obscene

because both hands are clutching

where me fishing rod has been.

I've sat in baking sunshine

and I've sat in snow and frost

so me knees have gone all flakey

and all me toes are lost.

The goldfish are all sniggerin'

but I don't give a toss -

I've other things to worry me -

I'm breaking out in moss.

By She