The land of one-eyed automobiles

By George Jamieson

We see dozens of famous landmarks as we walk or drive around Victoria. But there's one sight that isn't mentioned in any of the guidebooks.

This community is home to a veritable fleet of cars, trucks, and buses with one or more lights not working. Headlights mostly, but some cars are missing running lights or tail-lights too.

I call these vehicles Cyclops, after the one-eyed creatures of Greek and Roman myth.

I had seen a few during family visits to Victoria, and in the weeks after moving here, but I didn't take notice of the numbers at first. Checking out the lights on passing vehicles wasn't a hobby of mine, not then.

After a while I realized I was seeing a Cyclops almost every day. More than one on many days. There are very few Cyclops-free days.

As soon as I started to keep track of this oddity, I also started guessing at reasons for it. Every time I came up with a theory, I found evidence to contradict it.

First, I thought it was people who only drive in the daytime. They wouldn't notice whether a light is on or off.

Then I saw some Cyclops out and about after dark. Ironically, one of the evenings when I saw the most Cyclops was last year's Lighted Truck Parade. While the big rigs with thousands of extra lights drove around the corner of Belleville and Government, I counted eight cars and vans with fewer lights, not more.

That put one theory under the bus. Okay, maybe these are older cars, with the wiring or bulbs wearing out as the odometers roll past 000000 and start up again. You haven't been able to buy a new Hyundai Pony since 1987, or a Pontiac Firefly since the early 90s, but there at least three of each in James Bay. Thanks to our mild climate, these basic autos can keep going, like the bunny in the battery commercials. .

That theory was good, until I noted that many Cyclops are unmistakably newer. Some of them, like Smart Cars, are very modern designs, built with the most up-to-date parts. They're just as likely to lose a light as their older cousins.

I hadn't run out of theories yet. What if it's a question of maintenance? Drivers who don't take their cars to the shop might not know the lights are broken. Even if they know, they might promise themselves to fix it "next time I get the car worked on." And that day might be always, "coming soon".

But no, that theory was as weak as the others. As soon as I got it in my head, I began to notice that many Cyclops were professionally maintained. I saw taxis from the biggest companies (including swanky new hybrid models). A neighbour's SUV, a new and high-end vehicle that had been maintained regularly. Trucks from big companies. Even a HandyDART bus.

At this point I decided it was time to ask a professional.

Kash Hassan is a technician at Dallas Auto Repair, at 308 Menzies Street (corner of Michigan). The first thing I learned from him was, these cars are a common sight. The second thing I learned was, if your car goes Cyclops, a service technician can find it right away.

"When a car comes in for service," he said, "the first thing we do is check the lights all around the vehicle... headlights, tail-lights, the lamp over the license plate."

Sometimes a bulb has simply burned out, but there can be more complicated reasons for light failure.

"If we have a lot of rain, moisture can short out the wiring," according to Hassan. "Or it can affect the charging system. And sometimes a bad battery can damage the wires or contacts."

No matter what the cause, a driver should notice that a lamp is out. But that doesn't happen all the time.

In one way, Hassan's experience is similar to one of my theories. "In the daytime, it's hard to see if the lights are on or off," he said. "If other drivers don't mention it, you might not be aware... especially the lights at the back of the car."

Driving a Cyclops at night is a different riddle. We might find out how they get the caramel in that chocolate bar before we learn why a driver doesn't notice when a headlight is gone.

By the way, last time I came home from the airport in the evening, I saw half a dozen Cyclops. On the highway. At night. Going the speed limit or faster.

Driving a Cyclops is not only unsafe, it's illegal. According to Constable Devon Fountain of the Victoria Police Department, the Motor Vehicle Act says you must have one or two headlamps on either side of a vehicle.

Not many drivers get ticketed for a missing light. Police officers are more likely to give friendly advisories than tickets. When they give out tickets, it's usually to drivers who have been pulled over for some other reason, like speeding or weaving from lane to lane. If you're one of the unlucky or ill-advised few, a ticket will set you back 109 dollars.

The best way to avoid this? Hassan's advice is, take a minute or so every now and then, and do what a service tech does. Turn on your lights and walk around the car to make sure they all work. If a bulb is out, he says the cost of putting it right is most likely in the range of 10 to 25 dollars.

If more people did this, there would be good news: safer cars and safer streets. However, there would be bad news too: I'd be searching for a new hobby.